Wedding Crashers
by sylver rain
Summary: When forced into marriage, what do friends do to the wedding to help? Why, crash it, of course! [Chpt 8: The plan is set in action as the boys get the crashing going. Neji begins to accepts his ominous fate but Sasuke seems to be suffering a greater deal.
1. Please Be Normal

USELESS SUMMARY: I usually do non-centric fics, where all twelve genins from our four favorite teams are involved. (Most of my fics will tend to rotate among the twelve, cuz I just love them all. But my favorites will always be Sasuke and Naruto. ) And of course with a little bit of the senseis incorporated within. In this fic however, I touch on more of certain characters than others, cuz some don't have to talk as much or whatever. But still, everyone has something to do with the storyline and most definitely the ending – which all in all is the most important and thought-out segment of the fic. Every character will have an important part to play. Anyway, the main plot is that one of our dear shinobis have been forced into an arranged marriage, against his will of course. Just read on to learn how to properly crash a wedding...

You can skip this if you want:

Before I get into the story, lemme just tell you my epic adventure of "Case of the stolen USB port". Ok, you know those memory sticks or flash drive things you save stuff into?Well, I had finished this entire fic in about 3 days, and had saved everything into my USB drive instead of the computer, cuz last time I saved so many things into my computer it slowed down A LOT. So I had been focusing on deciding whether to illustrate it or not and during this period of indecisiveness, I came home one day and realized a few things had been misplaced in my room. My sis ran out screaming about her watch missing, and I went to check mine. Two of my watches were gone, so I panicked too. Not too much, though. Just a little. My dad came in then and told us he had it, and that my brother's playmate from next door had taken it while me and my sis were out and no one was looking. The kid had returned it to my dad, probably cuz his father found out and told him to return them or something. The kid had actually went into out rooms and taken out things. Thank God that out of the valuable items, he had only taken the watches. So we were all pissed and made it a family rule never to let any of my brother's friends into the house again. Anyway, that night, I wanted to take the first chapter of this fic out to draw any random scene when I realized that my USB drive was gone! I panicked, as in really really panicked, and started to go into depression. Three entire days of typing, thinking, planning and sitting at the computer non-stop was in the bloody USB! It was already night, so I couldn't go next door to ask the boy for it – assuming he took it. I couldn't sleep very well that night. The next morning, I had went next door to ask him for it, but realized he hadn't started his holidays and was in school. His father told me that he'll ask the boy about it, and for me to come back later. I did, and when I when I was knocking on the door, I could hear the boy's father saying, "Give them back. Give them all back." I swear my eyes were like this o.o;. I was thinking, "Just what else did the brat take from us?" The boy came out with my USB drive in one hand and a plastic bag in the other, containing mostly stationary, and 90 percentof the items being mine. I just smiled as nicely as possible, said thank you, and went back home. My sis just claimed her necklace back from him yesterday… Makes me sick thinking just what other of our belongings he may have… :shudders:

Right. That adventure of mine just made this chapter two times longer. Damn. Sorry.. this is the last time I make such long A/Ns…

Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto…

Warning: Perhaps some rather boorish language, unless you don't consider 'bitch' and 'wench' etc. to be offensive. Sorry if anyone gets upset over it.

KEY:

"talking"  
'thinking'  
_Stressing on the word  
._.:x:.. scene break/switch ('a short while later' or 'meanwhile...')  
..:xXx:.. Scenechange ('long after...' or 'another situation')

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(A/N: I am shamefully aware of how obnoxiously horrid the first two chapters are. Bear with it, please. It gets a lot better in the chapters after. This fic is relatively fast-paced, so don't expect anything too deep and profound. ) 

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 1: Please Be Normal**

"SHUT UP YOU RAUCOUS BUNCH OF DILINQUENT WANNABE-NINJA BRATS!"

The twelve seated genins turned from their individual conversations and stared at Tsunade. Her nostrils were flaring, her chest was heaving up and down viciously, and Naruto thought he could see smoke coming out from her nostrils. Her eyes even had an evil gleam in them. It was… quite scary.

"…Sasuke, what's _raucous_?"

"ESPECIALLY _YOU_ NARUTO!"

"Eep!" This time, smoke _was_ coming out from her nostrils. Naruto wisely decided to clamp his mouth shut.

In front of the group of genins in the hall, Tsunade spent a few more seconds panting, then breathed in sharply before continuing the announcement which she had started earlier. "Right. What I was halfway saying before some annoying monsters decided to rudely interrupt, was that there will be a visitor in town."

The ninjas were still listening, so Tsunade continued.

"She hasn't been here before, and she's probably going to… 'tour' the village and take a look at how some of you train. I don't want any _misconduct_ for the time being." Tsunade shot Naruto a glare. "She'll only be here for a while, so please try to make her stay pleasant."

"Is she hot?" Kiba asked.

The Hokage shifted her glare to him. "She's about your age, and so that's why I'm telling you this. So I'm expecting you all to make her feel welcomed."

Tsunade glanced at the clock nearby, and went on, "She's probably just entered the village. All of you, I _beg _you. This piece of advice in VERY important. Please. Please be NORMAL."

"What is she implying?" Shikamaru said to no one in particular.

"She's a member of a very important clan in the hidden mist village. In fact, she's the daughter of the current head of the clan. So whatever you do, make sure she is happy. Got it?"

A low murmur of "sure"s and "whatever"s ran through the small crowd.

"Rich daughter? Of important clan? She has gotta be hot." Kiba cheered.

"Right. Now get to your training. And even if you don't usually train, just pretend to be doing something ninja-like this time. Now get out of here." Tsunade walked off, mumbling something about wondering how the trainers got the little imps to shut up.

The genins started chatting again, getting up to go outside to their usual training areas.

"New visitor, huh? Well… I'll make her visit… _pleasant_…" Naruto sniggered evilly.

"NO PRANKS NARUTO!" Sakura gave him a hard smack on his head, sending him howling.

"FINE. The daughter of some rich clan dude is probably no fun anyway." Naruto sniffed.

They and the other nine genins entered the field where they saw their four trainers talking. Well, three of them were talking. One was yelling.

"C'mon, Kakashi!" Gai screamed.

"Why would his daughter wanna come along anyway?" Kakashi mumbled.

"Fight me like the rival of mine you are!"

"Yea… It's not like she's interested in his work, is she?" Kurenai pondered.

"You know you fear me!"

"His name is Sokake Raiku. Of the Sokake clan in the hidden mists. I heard the business he came down here for concerned his daughter." Asuma said.

"Ha! You know I'm going to win this one!"

"Business with who?" Kurenai asked.

"JUST LIKE I WON THE LAST TIME!"

TenTen sighed, "Oh man. Gai-sensei's up to his rival matters again…" But Lee looked with admiration at his trainer waving around a hand with two fingers making a "V" shape.

"Sensei's actually early for once…" Naruto noted, looking at a bored Kakashi.

"No he's not." Sakura corrected. "We had been waiting for the Hokage for two and a half hours, and the briefing took about half an hour. The trainers have been waiting for us all the while, so Kakashi-sensei's probably just arrived."

"Man… And I was stupid enough to have actually thought otherwise…" Naruto slapped himself on the head.

Kakashi sighed, "Gai, last time we had this… battle, I won. And if you really want to do this again, here." He casually held out a clenched fist.

Neji rolled his eyes in realization, "They're doing that rock paper scissors thing again."

Gai's eyes were tearing, "NOOO! How could it beee? I have been formulating this move ever since the last time we had this fight. How could u have predicted it? You're not using your sharingan, are you?"

Kakashi sighed again, "I didn't predict anything. You were waving your… formulated move around at me just now. So I just countered it."

"KAKASHI! You outwit me once more!" Gai cried dramatically on his knees. Lee joined him.

"Right…" Shikamaru sucked in a sharp breath. "Sensei," he said to Asuma, "Who's this troublesome chick coming to town?"

"Well, Shikamaru, we were just discussing it while waiting for your briefing to finish. Like I was saying, she's the daughter of the head of a very important clan in the hidden mists village, as I'm sure the Hokage's already told you. And all I know is that she's just here to follow her dad on some business trip. Tsunade told us that she'll allow the girl to take a look at you guys train. So we should be expecting her. In fact, I think she'll be arriving here any minute now…"

"This entire village SUCKS!"

The entire group spun around to see a girl stomping toward them. She had long blonde hair that reached down to her waist – thick enough to cover the entire top half of her body if you saw her from the back, with pink eyes, rather heavy make-up for a twelve year old, and would have been quite pretty if not for the scowl on her face. She wore a short skirt and a halter-neck top that had a mid-drift cutoff. At her right side was a large, round, bald guy, about the size of Chouji, but perhaps a little stouter, and on the other side was a taller, much slimmer guy with light blonde hair who… didn't really look too guy-ish.

Everyone just stood there and stared. Except Gai and Lee, who were still wailing.

"Is that a guy?" Naruto pointed.

"Umn… everyone say hi…" Asuma managed hoarsely.

"Hi." The group chorused.

"Ooh… she _is_ kinda hot." Kiba said.

"Are you all training?" The girl stared at the group, her scrutinizing eyes examining all of them.

"Why, yes! Umn, kids, introduce yourselves." Kurenai said quickly.

Sakura decided to help the others by starting it off, "Hi, my name's…"

"I don't care what your name is."

Sakura froze. The genins and their trainers found themselves speechless.

"Harsh." Naruto broke the silence.

"What kind of training is this?" She stared at Gai and Lee who were bawling away.

"So much for _normal_…" Shikamaru mumbled.

The girl let her eyes wander a little more before saying, "Ooh… what's _your _name?" She walked pass some of the genins toward the back.

Neji glared back at her.

"My name is Sokake Rika." She said in the cutest voice she could muster, with eyes flashing, "But you can call me Rika-darling…" She twirled her hair.

"I don't care what your name is."

Sakura would have been proud is she wasn't still frozen.

The girl's eyes started watering. Her mouth started twitching, like it was going to start howling and will never stop. The four trainers started coughing. Gai had stopped wailing and seemed to be choking very aggressively.

"Hey, you guys alright?" Naruto asked, genuinely concerned.

Neji sighed, "My name's Hyuuga Neji. But why don't you _not_ call me at all."

"NEJI! What a handsome name!" Rika squealed. "And I must say, you have the most stunning eyes. Just as stunning as mine! Would you be so kind as to show me around?"

"No-"

"You would? Oh, how sweet!" She squealed again.

TenTen was boiling in the background.

A fairytale ringtone came out from no where, and Rika pulled out her cellphone and answered, "Hello? Dad? Now? NO! I DON'T WANNA! I'M HAVING FUN! …My WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! IT'S _MY_ ALLOWANCE! Oh I HATE you. FINE! I'M COMING!" She slammed her phone into her handbag and smiled sweetly at Neji, "See you Neji-kun. I'm sure we'll meet again. Very soon… Hyuuga…" She added softy, and turned.

Neji just kept right on glaring.

"Tar tar!" She stalked off with her two bodyguards.

The group just stood there, watching her catwalk down the road.

"Well, that went well." Kakashi yawned, then noticed everyone was glaring at him. "What?"

Everyone turned and looked at Neji.

"So…" Asuma said, "She likes you."

"Well, I don't like her." Neji said. He turned and walked off to wherever Gai had last told them they would be training.

"I don't think anyone does." Chouji said, and started pulling out another packet of chips from his pocket.

"She really isn't all that hot anymore…" Kiba added.

"She wasn't hot in the first place." Ino sniffed.

Sakura was still frozen, but TenTen seemed to be glowing rather happily.

Neji walked through the large gates of his home and was immediately greeted by a maid from his household.

..:x:..

"Master Neji, you are wanted at the head's meeting room."

Neji sighed and followed the maid towards the room, wondering just what it was the head family wanted of him right now. After today's episode, he didn't feel very clean and was dying for a shower.

They reached the room in no time and the maid left him. He kicked his shoes off at the entrance, noticing a number of pairs of shoes lying around. 'Must be having some meeting.' He thought before sliding open the door.

"NEJI-KUN!" A familiar high-pitched squeal resounded throughout the room.

Neji stared in horror, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Oh, Neji-kun!" Rika jumped onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Remember how much fun we had earlier on?"

"What fun? And get off me!" Neji started prying her hands off. Now he _really_ needed a shower.

"Neji! Be polite! Come here and sit down." He heard the stern voice of Hinata's father and grudgingly obeyed. Rika had let go and sat down next to her own father again, smiling happily.

"We were waiting for you to arrive from after your training," His uncle said, "This is Mr Sokake." The man nodded and Neji returned it. "And this is his daughter Rika. I hear from her that you both have already met."

Rika waved. Neji held back a grimace.

"Mr Sokake is the head of the highest clan in the hidden mists, a clan much like ours. We have had many business contracts between the two of us. It is most important to maintain good relations with each other."

Neji raised an eyebrow, "…What exactly are you saying?"

"Neji, your father had agreed that you would be used for the good of our clan. You know that. So, it was decided that-"

"Neji-kun, you must be so excited! We're getting married!" Rika screamed in delight.

"W-WHAT?"

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A/N: Ok, if you didn't find this chapter too exciting, it's cuz I'm just laying the problem out to get the plot going. It's all part of the settings, my friends. Hope you had enjoyed! 

sylver rain


	2. Raucous Confrontations

A/N: Yes, my dear reviewers… the poor Neji…

Averaye! How's it going? And no, it's not really a neji/tenten, yet sort of is. I'm not too good at romance, and I don't think I should ever be allowed to try.

Anyway. I don't quite like this chapter either. And I doubt you readerswould too. Bear with it till the next one. Hopefully you'd finally think it's actually funny.

* * *

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 2: Raucous Confrontations**

"Oh that BITCH!"

"S-Sakura… cool down…" Naruto slowly inched behind Sasuke.

"Don't you DARE tell me to COOL DOWN." Sakura screamed into his face. Her eyes had dark rings around them, her hair was messed up, and she had… fangs? No, not really. But Naruto's imagination took him places.

"Eep!" Naruto ducked, missing a violent swipe from Sakura's monstrous claws. She stomped off toward their training area, where they were doomed to wait for several hours before their sensei decided to show up.

"Man…" Naruto stammered, "She's scarier than old hag Tsunade…"

Sasuke couldn't help agreeing.

The other teams were around, also walking toward their training grounds. "Sakura!" Lee called lovingly, "It's a beautiful morning and…AH!" Lee took one look at Sakura's haggard face and almost fainted. "Umn… and you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"…There was no sleep to even wake up from…" She seethed through her teeth.

Lee took a cautious step back and jumped behind TenTen, who asked, "Hey Lee, have you seen Neji?"

"Nope," He said from behind her, "haven't seen him all morning."

"Must be that Rika girl yesterday." Kiba said, with Hinata and Shino following behind.

"RIKA! W-what? WHERE?" Sakura scanned the area with her pupil-less eyes, claws protruding.

Kiba stared, "Mmm… Anyway, I think the chick must have scared the crap outta Neji."

"Scared?" Ino entered the scene, "Puh-leeze. More like pissed the shit outta him." She waved at Sasuke. Shikamaru and Chouji were not far away behind her.

"Man… Chomp…Did you see his face yesterday? Chomp I swear he would have killed her if there weren't four trainers standing around." Chouji munched away on another snack.

"Hey, hey, isn't that him?" Naruto said with his eyes squinted into the distance.

Yep, it was Neji, and he was walking at a rather hasty pace.

"Neji! Where were you-" TenTen was saying when Neji rushed pass her and Lee, "Let's get going." He said. "We're late." His pace was comically fast.

"You mean _you're_ late…" Shikamaru decided to point out.

"Whatever. Sensei's probably waiting." Neji hurried off, but not before…

"NEJI-KUN! I FOUND YOU!" Rika's high-pitched voice thundered in the twelve genins' ears.

Riku jumped in from no where and landed right on Neji. "Argh! Get off me!" He fought her off.

"Where were you this entire morning? I went all the way to your house cuz you were meant to show me around like you promised yesterday, but you weren't there, and I searched the entire village so I thought you were probably going for training, and I thought I saw you but you were walking so fast! And-"

Naruto pointed out, "Didn't you just say you went around the entire village? So I guess you really don't need anyone to show you around…" This earned a few sniggers from the others, a slightly relieved look from Neji, and a glare from Rika.

"Get your hands off him!" TenTen stormed toward her but was beaten by a frenetic Sakura, who appeared right in front of Rika – who was still on top of the struggling Neji.

Sakura reached out to pull Rika off him, with eyes flashing dangerously, and said, "Hey… your attitude yesterday was…"

Before Sakura's hand could touch Rika's shoulder, Rika's two bodyguards jumped up into the air and landed right between the two girls. The fat one was about to give Sakura a swift forward kick that may have broken a few ribs, if Naruto had not ran forward and taken the blow. He made sure the foot made contact with his arms, which were in a defensive position so as not to get them broken. But the blow was still hard, and Naruto was thrown to the side where he rolled till a stop.

"Naruto!" Sakura screamed.

The blonde bodyguard appeared in front of Naruto's crouched form, and said with a smile, "No one hurts the mistress."

"Whatever, wise guy." Naruto coughed from the ground, "Wait, are you even a guy? You sound so.."

"Shut up." The bodyguard pulled out a kunai, causing the other ninjas to gasp.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried softly.

The bodyguard was about to bring it down upon Naruto when a swift kick sent the weapon flying.

The bodyguard watched the kunai fall and lodge itself into the sandy ground, and turned back to see Sasuke looking passively at him. He smiled and gave a hard kick at Sasuke's head, which the latter easily blocked with one hand and countered with a sharp jab to the other's chest using his other hand. The jab was dodged by the bodyguard, who spun around and brought his hand down upon Sasuke's shoulder in a karate-shop manner. Sasuke went down along with the momentum and extended his leg out at the same time, swinging it so it went right across under the bodyguard, sending the blonde one crashing to the ground.

The Uchiha prodigy stood over him, face still emotionless, and made no move when the bodyguard got up and jumped back to Rika's side along with the other fat one.

"Yea!" Naruto jumped up and yelled, waving his fist, "Take that!"

"He can still stand after taking that kick I have him?" The fat bodyguard mumbled to his partner, "Do you know how much force there was in that blow? The whisker-boy just, jumped up like nothing had happened…"

The comment, however, didn't go unheard by those not meant to hear it. Naruto made a victory sign with his two fingers, "Hell yea. Don't think I can't take whatever you throw at me, fat-ass!"

The fat bodyguard turned red, "I'M NOT FAT!"

"Hmm… that sounds oddly familiar…" Shikamaru glanced at his round teammate, who was still munching away at his snack.

The blonde bodyguard, on the other hand, was staring at Sasuke with a sly smile on his face, "He took me down. Well, this is a first." He licked his lips, "I love a guy who can do that…"

The group of genins shrieked. Sasuke raised a brow.

"I knew it… you're not a guy!" Naruto yelled.

"I AM!" The bodyguard screamed back, then suddenly sounded rather happy, "But did you really think I wasn't?"

"Be quiet you two." Rika said, who was successfully pushed off by Neji with some help from TenTen. She stood between her two guards and announced, "These are my two bodyguards…"

"Queen of the understatements…" Kiba murmured from the back.

"SHUDDUP!" She screamed, then continued, "This one, "she pointed at the fat one, "Is Bouka. This one, is Mitsuka. They protect me wherever I go. (A/N: Really, who cares?)So none of you jealous witches can touch me. And they make sure no horrible perverted men can ever get their hands on me."

"Just who would wanna do that?" Naruto whispered to Sasuke, who shrugged and answered, "It's appalling enough in a ten meter radius from her…"

"He speaks!" Mitsuka purred from Rika's side. "His voice is sooooo sexy…"

The genins shrieked again. Sasuke raised a brow.

"Like I was saying, so I am always safe and no one can ever hurt me. So you jealous bitches just try coming to get me. You can never break me and Neji-kun apart. Marriage is inevitable!"

The genins shrieked once more. Neji slapped his forehead.

"WHAT?" TenTen screamed.

"I bet she doesn't even know what 'inevitable' means…" Shika murmured.

"What's 'inevitable'?" Naruto asked, eyes characteristically squinted.

Rika continued, "Yep, that's right. He's mine! No one else can have him, but me! I am, after all, richer, and prettier, and sexier than any of…" She glared at the bunch of genins… who were busy in their own individual conversations and chatter and not listening to her.

"Are you serious?" Ino reprimanded, "Hinata, how come you didn't say so when you thought you suspected something like this?"

"I-I didn't want to start any r-rumors… so I k-kept it to myself f-first…" The shy girl stuttered.

In his own group conversation, Kiba was laughing, "Oh man, poor Neji. He's in for some pure torture."

Lee had tears in his eyes, "I-I-I feel so sorry for my rival! This is the most horrific way he can go down! It is me who should beat him, not some annoying girl! This is unfair play!"

Rika, in the meantime, was starting to go very red, "SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! HOW CAN I MAKE IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS ABOUT MYSELF WITH YOU SELFISH IDIOTS TALKING?" she inhaled deeply and smoothened her hair back, the yelled again, "I'M LEAVING, JUST TO GET AWAY FROM YOU RAUCOUS LOT OF UNCOOL GANGSTERS TRYING TO RIP ME AND MY NEJI APART! Oh, and catch yah later, Neji-kun. Remember, you're showing me around." She gave a playful wave to the scowling Neji and walked off. The bodyguards followed behind, with Mitsuka giving an impassive Sasuke a flirty wink, causing the genins to shriek again.

As the Rika and her bodyguards were off in the distance, the ninjas stared at them, then at Neji, back at them, and then at Neji again.

"…so guys…" Naruto piped up, "What's 'raucous'?"

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A/N: Ok. I hated it. The next chapter is a whole lot better. 


	3. Planning to Plan

A/N: Ok, third chapter. Enjoy peepz!

Cyberwing: Thanks for the review! And here's the update!! ::shakes head solemnly:: Yes… poor Neji…

Pez-Dispenser: Ohoh… I assure you, this is no joke!! Well, maybe it is… considering it's a humor fic… but… ::cough:: anyhooz…

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**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 3: Planning to Plan**

"You can't be serious! Of all people, HER?" TenTen cried in anguish. "Why didn't you refuse?"

"I did." Neji said.

"What kind of uncle do you have?!" Ino asked, then heard a soft cough, "Oh, sorry Hinata."

"Why didn't you tell us??" Lee asked, eyes still tearing.

"Cuz I just found out yesterday night." Neji did _not_ want to talk about it.

"When is the wedding?"

"Soon. That's all I know." Neji scowled. He _really_ did not want to talk about it.

"Anyone else find it weird that he's getting married at the age of 13?" Shikamaru pointed out.

The group looked at each other and launched into another set of individual discussions.

"Aren't we all a little too young for…" Ino trailed off.

"My uncle said that we'll be getting married very, very soon, and that we'll just be…" Neji sighed, "Living together till we're old enough to have children and that kinda crap…"

"Eek!" TenTen nearly fainted. "No! We must find some way to stop this!!"

"Oh well." Kiba said, "I'm not too worried. It's not like any of us are getting stuck with her. You guys will be married and gone and life will go back to normal. Good luck with her!" Kiba waved to Neji and started walking off.

"Gone? We'd be living our married life here, in Konoha." Neji said.

Kiba had frozen, then ran back. "Here? For the rest of her life?? Where we will always see her annoying face and hear her annoying voice? Ok. We have _got_ to think of some way to stop this. Start thinking people."

There was silence for a while.

"Have you tried killing her?" Naruto asked.

Everyone stared at him.

"What?" He looked genuinely confused.

Sakura replied, although hoping that the blonde wasn't actually serious, "Well, Naruto, you do remember Neji almost did kill her the first time the brat came. And besides, the trainers will not agree. Well, they may… but Hokage sure won't."

Silence again.

"How 'bout try killing yourself?"

"NARUTO!" Everyone hit him on the head.

"YEOUCH!!"

"I'm leaving that as a last resort." Neji said.

"Hey… you're actually serious." Chouji threw a chip into his mouth.

"Let's try bashing her and her two cronies up." Kiba suggested.

"The fat one's mine." Lee said, remembering the fatal kick the bodyguard had tried to give Sakura.

"Too lazy." Shikamaru yawned.

"And don't forget the ten meter radius." Sasuke reminded.

"You mean the one where no living thing on this planet can pass through and come out alive?" Naruto added.

"Hmm… I got it! How about Shino unleash some of his killer bugs on her?" Kiba proposed.

"About that ten meter radius…" Shino said.

"Oh yea, bugs are living things too…" Kiba said, "Aww, poor little buggers. I'll miss them too, Shino, but sacrifices must be made…"

Shino glared at him – which was hard to tell since most of his face was covered up.

"C'mon guys, any better ideas?" TenTen said, "I feel bad for the bugs too."

"I thought the bashing up one was a good idea…" Sakura commented.

"I know, how about we all go to training now since we're late and our Senseis are probably waiting for us?" Asuma suggested.

Ino nodded, "Yea, we're late, but still, we gotta- WAH!!" She screamed, seeing her trainer's head right next to hers.

"Sensei!! What are you doing here??" Chouji smiled, and the rest smiled along innocently.

"I should be asking you all the same question." Asuma growled.

"You know how late you all are?" Kurenai appeared from no where, "I was waiting for you three for hours!" She glared at Hinata, Kiba and Shino.

"LEEEEE!!!!" Gai gave the boy a vicious blow across the face, sending him spinning, "YOU'RE LATE!!!!" The boy shot back up, tears pouring out, "Sensei!! Forgive meeeee!!"

"Ok!!!" Gai cried along with him.

"And where is that other pompous ninja that is constantly behind time?" Kurenai looked around.

"Yo. How come everyone's here?" Kakashi hopped in, keeping his perverted magazine.

"YOU'RE LATE!!" The entire assembly of Genins and Senseis hollered in his face.

Kakashi allowed his ears to clear before presenting his new excuse, "Well, you see, I saw a few books at a store which gives tips on how to improve training your students, and I am a responsible trainer that cares, so I took a few minutes to select a really good one…"

"You mean a few hours?" Sakura corrected.

"Well, that's because I _really _care…"

"LIAR!!" The entire group yelled again.

"Man, sensei." Naruto said, "And I thought you'd put in more effort this time to make a better excuse since everyone else is here."

Gai, determined never to be outdone by his rival, crept up from behind, "Just… _where_ did you say this book was…?"

"What were you guys thinking up ideas for anyway?" Kurenai asked the students, curious as to what mischief they were up to this time.

"It's for Neji." Kiba blurted out, earning a scowl from the white-eyed boy.

"Oh, let me guess." Kakashi said, "Something about how he and that Riku girl are getting married?"

"It's Rika, and yea, how did you know?" Ino asked.

"Well, I saw her running around this morning while I was eating breakfast- I mean, selecting that essential training book, and she was yelling something like… ah… 'Neji, oh my dear Neji, where are you, my dear husband-to-be, oh Neji.' In that very order too." Kakashi informed.

The chakra veins (A/N: arteries, actually, but veins sound better. ) around Neji's eyes started to bulged a little, and all the ninjas started sweating, in fear of him losing control and unleashing the power of the Byakugan.

Well, all the ninjas except our dear Kakashi.

"And I'm not surprised if the entire village knows about it now…" The responsible silver-haired trainer that cares so much for his students continued.

Neji's veins were really starting to swell. The other ninjas started inching away.

"And they're probably all talking about it, the same way I had heard them gossiping when I left the food- bookstore…"

"Kaka-sensei…" Naruto intervened from behind, "If you really care, I think you should stop talking before your students die, including your caring self…"

Ok, really, if Neji kept up with the vein-swelling, they were going to burst, and everyone around would probably die from the wave of chakra…

"WAHAHA!!!" Gai jumped in before things ended in blood and shreds of sixteen dead bodies covering the entire field, "Kakashi!! What great jokes! You are SO funny!!" He slapped Kakashi hard on the back.

"I am?"

"Students," Asuma cleared his throat, "Back to training now. I think you've missed out on enough training for the day."

Kurenai added, "And do not do anything stupid that may break relations between our village and the hidden mists." She shot a look at Naruto, then continued, "The business between the Hyuuga and Sokake clans is a very essential bond between the two villages."

"And," Gai said, "As much as I would hate to say this, the Hokage had told us that you guys were meant to make her as happy as possible. So no pranks." They all looked at Naruto.

"What?!" Naruto grumbled.

Asuma put a hand on Neji's shoulder, "You, just bear with the girl for a while. Take her around if she really wants you to."

"You're gonna be living with her for the rest of your life after all." Kakashi said.

"HAHAHA!!" Gai whacked his rival on the back again, "FUNNY!!"

-

That afternoon, just before dinner, the female population of the genins had a group meeting.

"This is outrageous!" TenTen spat, "Neji's forced to bring that wench around the village!"

"Poor Neji-kun…" Hinata sympathized.

"I will not go through with this! Something must be done!" TenTen said fiercely.

"Oh, something will be done alright…" Sakura sniggered, "Screw what Hokage said. This bitch is gonna have the worse visit she'll ever get."

"This weekend, we'll make it her first and last trip to Konoha!" Ino smiled evilly.

They laughed in unison.

"Oh yea," Sakura added, "And that Mitsuka guy is a rather… suspicious fellow. We gotta keep an eye on him and Sasuke too."

Ino agreed, "Yes. I haven't forgotten the way he laid his eyes on my precious Sasuke."

The girls thought back to that earlier image of the blonde bodyguard.

They shrieked in unison.

* * *

A/N: Buahahahaz… will the brattish Rika get what's coming for her? Tune in to the next upcoming chapter and find out!!! Oh, and review while you absorb that piece of advice too…

-sylver


	4. Spying on the Spies

A/N: WOW! A sudden burst of reviews! How motivational Awe-inspiring! Heart-warming! And… Motivational! I love you guys… :sobs uncontrollably:

Riteo… review replies...

Kaeru Soyokaze: Funny, is it? And yes… the poor boy. Let us weep together for him… :weeps:

esther: Great? Keep going? Of course! Whatever you ask for! And:shudders: the bodyguard… Well, you just gotta keep reading to find out what happens. And SasuNaru? Well, like I said, I don't do romance. But I love it when those two hang out. So yes, they hang out a lot. They my favorite characters! I love fics with them two starring in it. And somehow I don't see Sasuke getting along with the other girls in the show… Meh.. Just my opinion.

KawaiiMisha-san: Neji's Byakugan? Damn… didn't get any of that planned. But I guess if she did see it, she'd probably think it's bloody cool (which it IS of course!) and STILL glomps him. And you hate the bodyguard? Well… I hate him too! Join the club..

adarcel: Yesh ma'am! issues next chpt

Ayuka-chan: Aww… strange how we all sympathize with Neji, yet can't help laughing at his current dilemma, ne? …Poor neji… BUAHAHAHAHAZ… Thanks for reviewing!

YoungSasuke: So, _young Sasuke_, eh? Better start running before the Raging Blonde Pedophiliac Bodyguard comes after YOU! Muahahahz! No, wait, don't run! Read and review this chapter toooooo!

Heh: You Even more outstanding. Me Grateful for the review. Rika STILL very strongly disliked.

FireDragonBL: Omg… :hugs you: You reviewed three times in a row! Aww… now u definitely deserve… umn… ANOTHER HUG:hugs again: The more reviews, the merrier! And let's just keep reading to find out just what happens to Rika's ass, mmmm?

-

Right. The fic! The fic! On with the fic!

* * *

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 4: Spying on the Spies**

"Why don't you go bug someone else?"

"But honeykins, you promised me _you_ would!"

"First, stop calling me that. Secondly, I did _not_ promise you anything."

Naruto stood outside the ramen stall, watching as Neji walked by, then Rika, then her two bodyguards. They consecutively disappeared around a corner. "Poor guy…" Naruto thought, then shrugged and looked around, waiting.

A few seconds later, he saw Sasuke walking up.

"You're late!" He waved his fist.

Sasuke looked at his watch, "I'm not late. You're just early. You're always early when it comes to ramen."

Naruto looked at his own watch. "Oh… haha!" He laughed, rubbing the back of his head, "Sakura said she can't make it. Said she had some… important things to do with the other girls. Probably either reading girly magazines or spying on you."

Sasuke flicked Naruto's head with a finger as they were about to enter the stall, when he suddenly caught sight of a certain pink hair girl standing at a corner of a building and peering over the other side.

"Umn, Naruto. Isn't that…?" He pointed.

Naruto turned and look, "Hey… Sakura said she was hanging with the girls…"

"Yep, she is." Sasuke pointed in the same general direction, but at a different location, where TenTen was hiding in an empty barrel. Then at Ino on top of a building. Hinata was behind a rather hole-ridden face.

"What the hell are they doing?" Naruto asked with his characteristic eye-squinting.

"If they're spying on someone, they're not very good at it." Sasuke said. He had spotted them without even trying to. Or wanting to. Or even planning to.

Shikamaru, Kiba, Shino and Lee walked by just at the same time.

"I'm so lonely…" Lee complained, "One of my teammates went off to hang out with her girl friends, and the other is getting married to some other girl. I'm left all alone! What, are girls better to hang out with than me?"

"I don't even have to say anything and it's already an insult." Kiba sniggered.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, felt further down on the other end of the spectrum, "This is one of those rare days of rest and relief. Ino is with the girls, away from me. Chouji is in some buffet stuffing himself, away from me. Man, I need more days like this." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Hinata said she had something important going on too. What are those girls up to anyway?" Kiba, who was looking up at the sky, pondered aloud. He looked back down and spotted Sasuke and Naruto staring in the same direction, "Oh, Sasuke, Naruto, what are you…" He looked at what the team 7 boys were looking at. "What the hell ARE they up to?" He stared at the girls, hiding rather conspicuously in random places.

"If they're trying to spy on someone, they're not very good at it." Shino observed. Naruto and Sasuke just nodded, unaware of just how familiar those words were.

The boys stood at the side of the street outside the ramen stall, watching the girls carry on with their spying affair.

"They have no idea how bad they are at it, have they?" Kiba suddenly blurted, feeling a touch sorry for them.

The girls suddenly ducked behind whatever it was they were hiding behind.

Sakura had jumped behind a nearby door, and from around the corner she had been peeking over, the boys saw Neji appear from behind it, walking very fast, with Rika and her bodyguards in tow. Neji was heading in the direction of the boys.

"Honeykins! Come back!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Honeykins?" Naruto stared. Neji heard him and looked up at the group of boys, his pale skin turning rather red.

"Show me the sights! I wanna go sightseeing, honeykins!"

"What sights?" Naruto asked.

"There aren't any." Sasuke replied.

"Fine." Neji spun around to her and said through clenched teeth, "The library is over there." He pointed. "The ninja academy is there, the rock with four ugly faces is there, and there's a lake somewhere over there. Why don't you go jump into it?"

Rika looked at him suspiciously, "Will you jump with me?"

Neji cursed aloud.

"And I thought the academy is over there." Rika pointed, "Are you making things up to get over with it?"

"And if I am?"

"Well then, you'll just have to take me wherever you say it is, and then cuz you're making it up, we can get lost together!"

Neji sighed, "Maybe _I_ should go jump into the lake…" looked up at the other boys, who started shaking their heads and waving their arms, frantically signaling at him to not come over.

But Neji was desperate to be with people of similar gender. To hell with that, he'd rather join the other girls than stay around Rika for another minute. Which brought him to wonder just why the four girls were crouching behind those doors, barrels and fences. "Look, I'm gonna hang out with people I know you definitely wouldn't want to, so why don't you go play with your bodyguards or something." He walked toward his friends when Rika suddenly latched on to his arm.

"Why don't you introduce me to them?"

"She meant to say 'introduce _them_ to _me'_ didn't she?" Kiba asked the other boys.

"Her level of self-absorption is shocking." Sasuke said impassively.

"…You can introduce me as your wife!"

"You are _not_ my wife."

"I am going to be!"

"Don't you have any friends to hang out with?"

"You ARE my friend. You're my friendly-husband-honeykins!"

"Ok, now I kinda feel sorry for her." Shikamaru said.

"It _is_ rather pitiful." Lee said.

"Crap, he's coming over!" Kiba noted.

"Don't bring her along. Pleeeease don't bring her along…" Naruto pleaded.

Neji quickly squeezed between the boys to the back of the group, hoping that Rika would go away.

"Ah! Ten meter radius!" Naruto cried as Rika came closer.

"Hi everyone. My name is Rika and I'm Hyuuga Neji's wife! Don't be jealous!"

"Did she just introduced herself?" Shino asked with slight fascination.

"We're guys… How are we suppose to be jealous of her?" Kiba asked no one in particular.

"Of NEJI, you idiot!" Rika spat. "I meant don't be jealous of HIM having a wife like ME!"

"Oh." Kiba mumbled casually, "It didn't occur to me."

"It didn't occur to US." Naruto corrected.

Just then, Mitsuka left his fat partner and walked up to Sasuke, "Heya. I heard your name's Uchiha Sasuke. It's such a cool name. I like it."

Sasuke raised a brow, "Well, I don't recall your name. And if I did, I probably _wouldn't_ like it."

"You're so… intriguing…" Mitsuka grinned.

"You're not." Sasuke replied coolly. He turned to walk into the ramen stall.

Mitsuka smiled coyly, "I like your voice…" He put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder, who grabbed the hand and spun around in such a way that he bent Mitsuka's arm, sending the bodyguard kneeling to the ground.

"Oh, I love a guy who can bring me down." Mitsuka sighed flirtatiously.

The genins shrieked again. Including the girls who were hiding behind various see-through objects a short distance away.

"Just what kind of people turn him on?" Kiba asked in confusion.

"I've never actually seen a masochist in real person before…" Shikamaru thought aloud.

Sasuke glared at the bodyguard, "Don't touch me." The blonde, on the other hand, was in a rather painful position but didn't seem to mind.

"So, you wanna go for a movie later?" Mitsuka suddenly asked.

The genins shrieked again. A noisy crash was heard as Ino fell off the top of a building and landed safely onto a few sacks of beans, then quickly dived under one.

"Dude! He just asked you out on a date!" Naruto blurted.

"Well, isn't it obvious?" Mitsuka said, looking at the wide-eyed boy, "What, don't tell me you're jealous?"

Naruto's eyes got wider, "Jealous of who and of what? Hey, what the hell are you implying!"

Mitsuka ignored the other blonde and pulled his detained hand closer to himself, hence dragging Sasuke a little nearer, "So what about it?"

Sakura burst out from her hiding place, crying dramatically, "DON'T DO IT!"

"ATTACK!" Ino jumped out from her sacks of beans, almost skidding on some beans at the same time.

"We were meant to attack?" Hinata crawled out.

Sasuke gave Mitsuka a disgusted glare and roughly pulled his hand back. "I hate movies."

"Get back here, Mitsuka." Rika called. The bodyguard pouted and returned to her. "I'm the one that gets fawned over," She reprimanded, "Not anyone else, and certainly no other guy!"

Sakura and Ino were, on the other hand, still charging.

"She's MINE!" TenTen leapt out from behind and landed right in front of Rika, ready to strike.

The girls and the bodyguards engaged in a violent battle (bitch fight) as the other boys stood outside the ramen stall in a discussion.

"Man, Neji, I gotta hand it to ya. You had her at your back for seven hours this entire morning and you're still alive." Kiba said.

"You survived her. Now I think you can survive anything." Naruto said in sincere admiration.

"I think I'm gonna die." Neji said glumly, looking down solemnly at the floor.

"Look man, we'll try to get you out of this, ok? I'll talk to Hinata about it." Kiba said, feeling very sorry for the Hyuuga genius.

"Not like there's anything she can do." Neji said angrily, glaring at Rika who was further off yelling useless ninja techniques for her bodyguards to perform.

"Nah… we'll think of some more stuff." Naruto said, "We've got Shika on the team! About five brains there. And… Sasuke?" Naruto watched his teammate walk into the ramen stall.

"What? I'm starving."

"Hey! Aren't you gonna help Neji? He needs our help!"

"Look, I'm not the one getting married. Don't get me involved." Sasuke said.

"Oh Sasuke baby!" Mitsuka called melodiously from the bitch fight field, holding Sakura in one hand and Ino in the other, "I'm fighting this battle of love just for you, my sweet!" He crashed the two girls' heads together.

"Oh, I think you were involved from the very beginning." Naruto snickered.

Sasuke stared at the battle scene in disbelief, lower eyelid twitching, wishing this wasn't true. He glared at Naruto and walked back into the discussion. "Fine. Do you want it to look like it was an accident, murder from another village, or that they spontaneously combusted?"

"We… weren't really planning on assassinating them…" Kiba said quietly.

"Why not?" Neji asked, a little too quickly.

"YES! I WIN!" Back at the battlefield, Mitsuka threw the tied up bodies of the four girls onto the ground, "Sasuke honey! Come to me, my precious trophy!"

Sasuke cringed, "Yea, why not?"

* * *

A/N: Wahoooz. Poor Neji and Sasuke! hugs the boys Just what did I get them into? Herherherzzz…. … …. That laughter was meant to be evil, by the way. Well, just review! Review! I love reviews! Reading reader responses (Alliteration!) just makes me so… motivated and awe-inspired and heart-warmed and motivated!

Peace out!

-sylver


	5. Socially Insignificant

A/N: Ok, just a note to you guys. Sometimes, when an updated fic appears on the top of the list on page 1 of the fanfics, the summary may read as 'Chapter 5', but when you go into the fic to read, there are only 4 chapters. I know it happens a lot, since when I updated my fourth chapter, people submit reviews on the third one. Unless they just happened to mean to do that… oo; Anyway, that missing chapter thing happens a lot to me, and I think it's just a mild default in So what you can do is wait for a while till the fic is somewhere further down (that is, a few other people have updated their own fics), and then click on it again and see if the updated chapter has appeared. Or, you can go up to the address barofwhatever chpt you're at, and change the ending number to the latest update. For example, ifyou see I've updated chpt 5 for this fic but all you see iseverything up to chpt 4, then change the number at the end of the website address from '4' to '5'. Then press'Go'.It should work. Oh, but PLEASE **don't** skip the reviewing for any individual chapter. I wanna hear your reviews for each and every chapter, just to see what you think of it. And besides, every fanfictionist loves lots and lots of reviews! LOTS! BUAHAHAHZZZZZ…. Actually, the main reason I'm letting you in on this is cuz I get confused as to how to reply to people's reviews. Like, when I post chpt 5 with all the review responses to people who reviewed in both chpts 3 and 4, will those reviewers from chpt 3 read their next chpt, which is chpt 4, and seeing they don't have a review reply, think I ignored them and get annoyed? Oh… hope not. Damn. I did that long-A/N-thing again.,

Once again, I say, you can skip this if it is of no importance or significance to you. But if your name is somewhere there or if you're someone who just lurves getting into other's business, then read right on!

Review replies (Beware. It is LONG):

residentevilgirl: Ooh, thanks for the review! Yes, even I surprise myself at how I can create such obnoxiously annoying characters. Hopefully it's not cuz I can relate or anything… o.o; And the plan has been well thought out by yours truly, and I doubt it would be a disappointment… I hope?

Thlaan the Badger/Spork-Loving Gennin: Ooh, love the name! Yes, I love sporks too. Nifty contraptions, aren't they? Wonder who created them… :helps stab Rika with spork:

Tales of Pwnage: Haha… With Rika in here, I'm sure this fic can beat any horror movie pants down. Let the hilarity ensue! Keep reviewing too! (Whoa. I just rhymed…)

hujin: Crap. Now you've gone and made me feel all dumb and inferior. Why the hell haven't I thought of that? Oh, but come to think of it, if Neji _did_ say he liked another girl, I still don't think it's gonna put a monster like Rika off. She'd probably get that girl killed or something just to have Neji to herself… o.o

SGL: Thanks mate! Hope you get into it more. And by the way, just to satisfy my curiosity, what does ur name stand for? The question's been eating away at my head… Ah, unless you don't wanna tell me… of course I won't push it..:cocks gun behind back:

Kaeru Soyokaze: Thanks. :takes tissue: You know, I think I should get some official Rika-haters club started up… almost every reviewer wants to kill her. Not that I wouldn't mind… :sniggers evilly:

RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin: Thanks for reviewing! And whoa, you're two different people, are you? Your names are so ninja-ishly cool!

YoungSasuke: Oh, you came back! And I thought Mitsuka chased one of my most fervent reviewers away… Almost cried. Q.Q :wails: I have ruined my reviewer's purity! Her innocence is tainted:gazes down mournfully at blood-stained hands:

Eadha Ohn: Yes, don't we all feel sorry for him? Hehehez… Hmm. Why, then, am I laughing?

DotDotDotMan: Dotman, your level of crudity amazes me… You have earned my deepest admiration! Personally, I'd go for the second one, where they're beaten, drowned, and then torched. And then the gasoline. Fire is pretty… n.n And that little dude from next door, OH MAN… don't even get me started…

Steel Jaguar: Can I agree anymore:vomits along with you:

Sakura Uchiha Sasuke: Hey hey! You reviewed twice! You deserve a hug:big hug: Glad you're loving the fic. I loved writing it.

boredathome: Haha… your name is so cute… And I'm glad I made you smile! Makes me smile too! Poor Neji and Sasuke.. resorting to murder now. Come to think about it, I don't think they're resorting to it. They were probably planning it out from the very start already… herherz..

esther: Whooo.. long review! I love long ones… And I'm glad you're laughing! You practically picked out all the parts I loved in that chpt too! If you love Sasuke and Naruto, I've got a fic, **The Prophecy Fulfilled** which has a lot of them. Go check it out! Just a warning, it's very sci-fi-ish. So yes.

magy: Muahahaz. So NOW you know where Rika gets all her evilness from… MOI! Herherherz… Glad you like the fic, even after all the torture I shoved Neji and Sasuke into…

ayuka-chan: Yep, Rika and her two bodyguards are very much my own characters. Ther _are _annoying people, so I'm sure you didn't get very pleasant mental images of just how they may look like…

Smiling-Fox: Thank you capitano:salutes back: I'm glad you enjoyed! And I will try my best not too put Sasuke in harm's way… much… :cackles evilly: Let's just say it's a nice happy ending? Hehez..

GaaraChibilover: Roger that! Next chapter is up and running just for you! Well, you AND every other reader… :mumble mumble:

starstar: Whoa, you sound pretty desperate. You're the actual review that got me pressured to post this chapter up! Hahaz… You should feel proud. Oh yes you should…

-

Thank you for reviews and please, do review again! Just to keep me going. I feed on motivation...

* * *

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 5: Socially Insignificant**

"Hey, TenTen, you ok?" Lee asked. The battle yesterday _was_ rather vicious.

"Do I look ok?" TenTen glared at him. Her eyes were puffed and dark-rimmed, and her arm was in a cast. The other girls looked about the same, with bruises and bandages all over their bodies.

"We are NOT letting that wench off." Ino growled.

"Right…" Shikamaru stared at her, "Neji, just about when is your wedding?"

"Soon." Neji didn't elaborate any further.

"Do you know exactly when?"

"Mm."

"What?"

"Itsdischoosay…" Neji mumbled.

"When?" Kiba and the rest didn't catch it again.

Neji took a deep breath, "It's this Tuesday." he said, with a hint of sadness and annoyance in his voice, though his cold expression never slipped.

"WHAT?" The entire group of genins chorused. Even Shino's shades nearly fell off.

"NOOO!" TenTen screamed.

"That's only two days away!" Sakura gaped.

"Man," Kiba said, "When your uncle said soon, he _really_ meant soon."

"That's not even enough time to run away!" Naruto said in disbelief.

"Even if there was time, the ANBU members won't be letting that happen anytime soon." Sasuke nodded to the top of a building. The genins tried to look there without turning their heads.

Lee saw a masked head duck behind the wall of a window. "Your uncle sent ANBU after you!"

"There are three more around. He said it was my fault for trying to run away. And that the hunter-nins refused to go as their policy is 'find and kill'." Neji sighed.

"Whoa. Tough dad." Kiba said, looking at Hinata.

The girl sadly said, "S-sorry, Neji-kun. I t-tried talking to my dad… but he scolded me, a-and said I wasn't going t-to the wedding now… And he was even m-more angry that I got into a fight with Rika-san…"

"She can't go for her cousin's wedding?" Chouji munched away on his sweets.

"Like I said. Tough dad." Kiba took Akamaru off the top of his head and put it into his jacket in front of his chest.

"H-He said that I'll be g-going away." Hinata said, almost in tears.

"Away?" Naruto asked, "Man… what's wrong with getting into a bloody fight and standing a chance of possibly dying or killing someone?"

The rest stared at him.

"Tuesday… isn't there any time needed for preparations?" Shika asked.

"The preparations were done a long time ago. My uncle just broke the news to me late so that I don't get any ideas on escaping."

"And I thought foresight was the Sharingan's gifting…" Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck.

"My rival…" Lee sniffled, "Living with that girl all his life… :sob: It's just so sad…"

"Hey, are any of us invited?" Naruto asked suddenly.

The group glared at him.

"What! I just wanted to know how high up I was on the social level!" Naruto grumbled.

That got the other genins' interests. The turned and looked at Neji expectantly.

Neji looked back at them, "What?"

"…So? ARE any of us invited?" Sakura asked.

"None of you were."

The group sighed heavily.

"And for what reason is MY_ respectable_ clan not invited?" Kiba asked grudgingly.

"Well, this is what my uncle said. None of the girls are invited, except Hinata, but my uncle's pissed with her. Kiba, he said your clan stinks of dog. Shikamaru's clan were probably too lazy to go-"

"He got that right." Shika mumbled.

"-Chouji's clan would finish the all the food…

"He got that right too." Shika said, getting a glare from Chouji.

"…Shino's clan is creepy, Lee's clan couldn't perform genjustus or ninjutus-"

"Racists." Lee grumbled under his breath.

"-Sasuke's clan is dead, and Naruto's… just an idiot."

"HEY!" Naruto yelled.

Most of the guys were glaring at Neji now.

An anime sweatdrop appeared on his head, "Hey, I said that was what my _uncle_ said…"

"Ok, as good as those reasons may be to him and as horrible as they actually are, we're your pals-" Kiba was cut off by a loud:

"NEJI-KUN!"

"ARGH!" The group screamed.

"She's everywhere!" Naruto wailed. "We gotta hide!"

"You mean _I_ gotta hide." And Neji was off.

"Poor guy." Sasuke sympathized.

"SASUKE HONEY! WHERE ARE YOU MY SUGAR!" Mitsuka's voice rang out.

Sasuke jumped, "I think I'll join Neji." He took off.

"I don't know which one's worse." Kiba said, "Getting married to some snobbish self-centered brat or getting chased down by a loony bodyguard with gender issues."

Rika ran out from the corner she was yelling from, and her bodyguards walked casually behind her. "Where is he?" She asked, scowling at the group.

"Yea, where is he?" Mitsuka asked, looking around for Sasuke. Rika twirled around to whack him, but hit Bouka instead.

"OW. It was HIM." Bouka pointed at Mitsuka.

"Whatever. You both look the same." She snapped. (A/N: oo?) "Now, where's my Neji?" she whined, glaring at the genins.

"I don't know. Maybe he's trying to get away from you." TenTen said, not bothering to hide the malice in her voice.

"Oh… I know. You're just jealous. I can tell! You want him to yourself!" Rika grinned evilly.

"N-no I don't!" TenTen turned red.

"Well, he's mine! And you girls will be gone for a long time. So me and my Neji can have a peaceful wedding without any of you bitches interfering. As my dear cousin-in-law here may know, "She pointed at Hinata, "You girls are going on a nice long trip."

"All of us?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

"Yep, that's right. I had a long chat with my dad last night about the things you envious hags did yesterday and gave him a few ideas as to what to do with you lot. And he's talked to my to-be-father-in-law who is going to have a longer talk with the Hokage of this stinky village. And you wenches aren't going to be around for a while!"

"What is the trip about?" Tenten asked, anger boiling within her.

"Oh, just some… punishments. No biggy. Run round this mountain fifty times. Climb two hundred trees. Swim countless laps across a crocodile infested river… that kind of stuff." She grinned that same wicked grin.

"Who do you think you are!" Ino spat angrily.

"Neji's perfect wife, of course. But don't worry, my jealous rivals. Just because I'm prettier and nicer than you all, doesn't mean you can never come back to the village to show your jealousy. You'll be limping back soon after your little trip just so you can see me and Neji lead a happy married life together, and all of you can just watch and weep."

"Crap. Who's gonna watch out for Sasuke-kun!" Sakura wailed.

"What if he gets kidnapped by that… that… thing?" Ino pointed a shaking finger at Mitsuka, who was doing a victorious dance at the back.

"Hey kids."

The genins looked up at the top of the building they heard the voice come from.

Kakashi jumped down between the two groups and said, "O-hoh… looks like you bunch are all getting along well with the Ruki girl…"

The genins stared incredulously at him.

"It's RIKA!" The brat yelled.

"Anyway, guess what girls?" Kakashi continued, oblivious to the roaring Rika and the gloomy genins. (A/N: Alliteration! )

"Lemme guess, we're going on a trip?" Sakura asked glumly.

"Whoa. How did you know? Your perceptive skills are improving considerably, Sakura. Of course… with a trainer like myself…" He grinned under his mask, "I heard Raki was kind enough to plan the trip for you."

"It's RIKA!"

"Anyway, pack up. You girls must be so excited! A trip to the northern mountains. You all must be so eager to go training there. No guys to annoy you."

"Train?" Hinata moaned softly.

"No guys?" Ino didn't feel very well.

"So say goodbye to Raku. You'll see her after your trip. Don't miss each other too much!" Kakashi waved good-naturedly and hopped off.

The genins gawked at him.

"He has no idea, has he?" TenTen mumbled.

"Is your sensei _that_ dense?" Kiba asked.

"_You_ have no idea." Sakura felt like crying.

"I know your trainer's always late, "Chouji said, "But he's even later when it comes to general knowledge and gossip. Practically the entire town knows about the bitch fight. Well, the entire town except him."

"That's Kakashi-sensei for you." Naruto stared after the direction his sensei had gone.

"There'll be no way we can get out of this one." Sakura clenched her fists. "Hokage will make sure we don't spoil anything, I'm sure of it."

TenTen looked at Rika and her bodyguards leave to look for Neji, and she felt her heart fall. She stomped off to her house to pack for the trip, leaving the other genins staring after her.

* * *

A/N: Aww… ended off on a depressing note there… But no worries! More laughs to come! Sorry if this particular episode isn't too exciting. I was just looking for a way to break the news of the trip to the genins. 

Anyway, hope I made you guys smile, even the slightest!

-sylver


	6. Crashers Unite

A/N: Yeesh… I'm starting to consider starting up a Rika-Haters Club or Community or something. I mean, just about every reviewer wants her dead – and with a number of creative suggestions as to just how she dies too. o.o; But bless your crude imaginations… reading the reviews was a joy. Thanks so much for the support, people!

You know how it goes. You can skip this or read it if it concerns you or if you're nosey enough. :)Do tell me if you find it annoying and would rather me reply reviews at the end of the chapter instead of before it…

esther: Geeshh… I just melt when I see such long reviews.. :goes starry eyed: I'm so happy u enjoyed the fic. Sounded like you were having a good time reading it! Makes me feel all jumpy inside.. :)Is Rika related to Orochimaru? Well, obviously not. Orochimaru is nothing compared to her… He's evil, but she's on a whole different level! And about Naruto and Sasuke making out… Mitsuka may just jump in anyway and ask for a threesome. -.-; So you like Shika's scheming self? Well, this chapter may get you squealing fangirlishly again then.

Fortune Cookie Otaku: Fav list? Wahooo! I feel so special! And about the sensei's getting involved… ok, I'll have you warned not to expect too much, but I'll try to alter a few bits here and there in the ending just for you!

koori no tenshi: yesiree! Here it is!

ayuka-chan: no smile? Damn.. I feel so disappointed with myself now… Was Kakashi's appearance bad? Well, a little more sappiness in this chpt. Hopefully u've gotten over the near-death chpts… I mean, I watched, I wailed, and I wept. Neji almost… :gasp, sob: died! He had a friggin hole in his chest, for crying out loud! No, make that TWO holes!

Heh: My dear, you are just one of the many who want her dead. Join the club. :) Meh… should we all just start one? Buahahahaz… But maybe she ain't worth it…

FireDragonBL: Yay! More reviews from you! Glad you liked the chpts. And there will be just a little more Kakashi at the end of the fic. Patience:)

DotDotDotMan: Did I make you feel better? Waah! X) Your review made ME feel 20 times better too! Made me all smiley for the rest of the day. My family and friends were starting to wonder what was up with me… And your battle suggestions are rather interesting… I've got all these fight images in my head. But the fic's already written and done, so I can't change too much.. And oh, please, do cuss all you want. Let the brat and her bodyguards allow you some stress-relief. Let your anger flooooww…. I sound like some shrink now, don't I? And about the 'cold-guy-from-her-village' idea, as good as it was, the storyline's quite different. Trust me, Rika IS mad about Neji. Like, really truly is. XD

Maruku-Kenshin: I've been watching out for shinobis from other villages ever since I read your review. I think I'm getting paranoid. Keep seeing all these shadows running around. And just found a Kunai pinned against my bedroom door a few days ago telling me to update or else. o.o; Hehez, thanks for the review!

KawaiiMisha-san: Wah? Lucky for you, there's almost no Mitsuka in this chpt. But I warn you to just wait for the upcoming updates… Poor Sasuke's in for it. :clutches head: Wahh.. I get so stressed just thinking about what MY OC would do to Sasuke… Meeeeh!

Thlaan the Badger/Spork-Loving Gennin: Whoa, you're almost as organized as Shika.. got the whole Kill-Rika plan thought out. :looks at Jim Carrey: Mmm… nicely done…

brrt: Ooh, my friend, your perceptive skill are amazing. Now, will the story turn out as you have predicted, or will it not? There's only one way to find out, isn't there? But really, I almost choked when I read you review. I was like, "Just who the hell gave it away? Was it me? Did I bloody say something to let the whole thing slip up?" Hehez.. Keep guessing! Oh, but don't guess too much. Cuz it's always nice to be surprised, ne? For all you know, you may get surprised that it turns out as you predicted! MAY…

YoungSasuke: Wahh… I feel so bad for what me as the fanfictionist is doing to my beloved Sasuke… The poor boy. I drag him through the darnest things, don't I:throws a few teddybears and chocolates into the apple crate:

Sakura Uchiha Sasuke: Ooohoo.. I love you for loving the fic… Yes, Kakashi IS an idiot. But he's such a hot one… Heherz

shinjowy: Ah, we all want Rika dead, don't we? Really, I am seriously considering starting a Rika-Haters Club…And Neji and TenTen sure need a lot of comforting… Neji somewhat gets his share here…X)

marshmellowgang: Oh, she doesn't need exercise. What she needs is to get torched on a stand for all the world to see… :joins your angry mob: Like I've said before.. that Rika-Haters Club is very tempting…

hujin: Rika in croc-infested waters? That is simply disastrous! Your right… how would the poor crocs feel? I mean, we're talking about Rika here. I think the 'ten-meter-radius' thing applies for them too, ne? XD

RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin: Mah… everyone's reminding me about how I torture Neji and Sasuke. It's not me! Really! It's that damn Rika! I'm not gonna write about the camp though, but there WILL be references towards the end. And damn, your eating/swimming rules almost killed my pea-sized brain.. hehez.

TimeShifter: As I've mentioned before, the fic is completed… sorta. And I didn't make any reference to the Kyuubi, though you have stuck it into my head as a smart idea. But I'm rather inexperienced with the fox…X) Omigosh.. I was just about to type out the ending and how the story turns out. Darn you! Unconsciously influencing me… :mumble grumble:

boredathome: Gyah! Such a nice long review from yah! But c'mon, with Rika as an OC, it's too easy to categorize her as evil. I mean, Orochimaru could stand next to her and look like an angel.. o.o And about Tsunade's part in this, I'll have you relieved to know that she definitely did not approve of the trip Rika has planned, but she had to go along with it in order for the marriage to happen, the Leaf and Mist villages to be closer, and for this whole stupid plot to work out… XD But if you want Tsunade's chip in on the whole thing, just wait till the end of the fic. She starts making smart choices. Hmm.. better try not to give too much out..

Kaeru Soyokaze:gazes in awe at your pose: I…I want to join you in your quest to save the bishies! Save them all! May Rika DIE! Hmm.. getting rather emotionally repulsed by my OC…

Kumori: Oh oh oh! I read your review and suddenly got all pressurized to post this next chpt. So here it is! I'm so glad you're looking forward to it! Thanks for reviewing!

Millie-chan: Yes, I am rather proud at how just about every reader desires to stick a knife into my OC. And now that my life is on the line, it IS best for me to make sure Rika suffers, isn't it?X) For the sake of Neji, Sasuke, me and all of humanity, I do think it is best if she dies. XD

-

Right! I have wasted enough of my time and your energy used to scroll down the page. So on with the fic!

* * *

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 6: Crashers Unite**

The next evening, the boys watched as the girls loaded their luggage into the back of the van.

"I can't believe we really can't get out of this." Ino wept as she clambered into the vehicle, "Sasuke-kun is so… unsafe."

"Sasuke, Naruto, don't forget me! I'll be back!" Sakura cried and waved a handkerchief dramatically at her two teammates, who just stared questioningly back at her.

Rika laughed as she latched on to Neji's neck, "Haha… I finally get rid of you useless annoying creatures."

TenTen dumped her bag into the boot and slammed the door shut, then silently climbed into the van.

Neji stood there, watching his female teammate board the van, having not missed the tear he saw slip down her face. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, before clenching his fists and growling through gritted teeth, "Get off me." He flung Rika away and leapt off at ninja speed.

"NEJI!" Rika looked around, but saw no sign of him. "Where did he go?"

The van drove off, and the other boys waved the girls away.

"Far, far away." Naruto said without turning his head to face Rika, then disappearing to go after Neji.

Rika glared at the direction blonde had left.

"Away from you, that is." Sasuke said bluntly, and vanished along after Naruto.

Rika felt her face boil.

-

Naruto and Sasuke had followed Neji's trail, and they ended up on top of one of the rocky heads of the four Hokages. Neji was standing at the edge of the earthy cliff, looking down at the sun setting over the village, casting its orange glow over city's shallow buildings. His feet were merely two steps away from the drop-off.

"NO! NEJI! DON'T DO IT!" Naruto cried, "SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION! WE CAN HELP YOOUUU!" He ran up to Neji and latched on to the older boy, preventing any movement.

Neji craned his neck back and glared at the blonde, "What are you screaming about? And let me go."

"Let him go, you idiot." Sasuke walked up to them, "He's not jumping."

"Oh," Naruto let go, "You're not?"

"Thank you for caring." Neji said icily and stared back at the sun, not letting the scowl slip from his face.

"Well that didn't sound very genuine." Naruto mumbled and looked down at the village, "Bearing in mind that I _could_ have had saved your life if you _were_ committing suicide."

Neji sighed, "Trust me, I was considering it."

Sasuke thought back about a certain blonde bodyguard, and made what he decided was a very wise commitment, "If you're jumping, I'm coming along."

"Wah?" Naruto gaped, "Not you too! Well, if you both go, then…then I'm jumping too!"

"You're just saying that cuz you feel left out." Sasuke mocked knowingly, earning a sniff from Naruto.

"Ha. I can see it in the papers." Neji chuckled, "Three Bodies Found Dead in Front of Hokage Head Sculptures" He drew the imaginary newspaper headlines in the air with his hands.

Sasuke mischievously added, "Bodies are identified to be runaway bridegroom, an genius clan's last associate, and dead-last idiot. Idiot was found to have no brain, as expected."

"Haha… Idiot…… Which one of us is that?" Naruto laughed, then stopped. By process of elimination, he finally answered his own question in his head, "HEY!"

Neji and Sasuke laughed at him.

Neji looked down at the ground far below them, walking slowly to the edge of the cliff, "I… I don't think I can live with this."

"H-Hey… you're not really gonna jump, are you?" Naruto stiffened.

"Wait for me…" Sasuke walked up, sounding a little serious.

Naruto glared, "You're not suppose to be encouraging him!"

"Don't be stupid, you two." Neji stepped up to the tip of the cliff and sat down, letting his feet dangle off the edge.

"Phew…" Naruto breathed out in relief and knelt down next to Neji, "You were saying?"

"…I can't take this anymore. She… She's just so…" Neji paused for words.

"Bitchy?" Naruto suggested.

"Snobbish?" Sasuke offered.

"Leachy?"

"Obstinately obsessive?"

"Irritating beyond all measure?"

"Egocentric and brattish to the core?"

"Impossible and murderous to live with?"

"Damned to be the bane of all human existence?"

"Distasteful, gross, stomach-upsetting and excessively oily? Oh wait… that was the disgusting prawn soup I ordered yesterday… Meh, sounds like her anyway…"

"Easy to skin, slaughter, dice up into 42 pieces, burn and then bury deep within the most unfathomable trench of the earth?"

"Pes- Why 42?"

"It's the numbers of the letters from the order of the alphabet which spell the word 'bitch' all added together. Like, A is 1, B is 2, etc. So add 2, 9, 20, 3 and 8 all up and you get 42."

"Oh… that's pretty smart… Oh yea," Naruto turned back to Neji, "What about pesty, loud, annoying, bothersome and sickening all shoved together in one package?"

"Hey, they kinda sounds like you…" Sasuke teased.

"SHUDDUP!"

Neji laughed, "Yea, all of what you guys said, and worse. I was going for distressingly crushing and overwhelmingly suffocating."

He allowed his face to fall as he drew circles on the sandy ground. The boys heard him softly say, "It's… too soon. Tomorrow. Less than 24 hours away… Naruto, I know you said that fate isn't always the one in charge. But this time I've been given a one-way road." He paused and then whispered hoarsely with clenched fists, "…How am I gonna get out of this one?"

It was then that Naruto had it set in his heart that he was going to help his friend out. Though he and Neji weren't exactly the closest of the lot, a friend was a friend, and Naruto had never and would never let one down. It was his way of the ninja.

"With our help." Naruto said softly. "Trust me."

Neji looked at the blonde in surprise, then sighed hopelessly, wishing the sun wouldn't set and so the next day wouldn't come.

The three ninjas continued gazing down at the peaceful village, silent and lost in their own thoughts, until the red sun finally vanished beyond the dark horizon, only to await its rising to signify the beginning of the coming morning.

-

"This is it!" Naruto walked in front of Shino, Kiba, Chouji, Shikamaru and Lee, who were seated and having their dinner at a local restaurant, and stamped his foot on the bench.

"What do you want?" Shikamaru asked in his usual dull tone, pushing Naruto's foot away from next to him and off the bench.

Sasuke walked casually up to them while Naruto continued his speech, "We have got to help Neji. The wedding is tomorrow and we can't let it happen! This is our friend in peril! We must do something to save him! He may be lost forever to the personified cup of poison named Sokake Rika! He may not survive! We have got to-"

"In short, we gotta crash Neji's wedding." Sasuke calmly summed up.

"EXACTLY!" Naruto yelled, causing the other diners in the restaurant to stare.

"Would you keep it down?" Kiba whispered roughly at Naruto.

"NO! I mean…" Naruto dropped his volume and whispered as fiercely as he could manage, "No! How can we just sit aside and watch our friend get married to some bratty nutshell? We gotta hatch a plan!"

"Man," Shikamaru slurped up his soup, "How bothersome are you? Haven't we discussed this before? We've been hatching so many plans and none have worked."

"That's cuz you don't put any effort into it!" Naruto pointed at Shikamaru, knowing well how the lazy boy was really a genius at strategy.

"Hush!" Lee said, "Look, you really wanna talk about this, I think we should go to some place where people can't hear us. Everyone in the village knows about the wedding, so talking about crashing it is definitely going to get some people interested."

"Oh. Ok…" Naruto whispered in reply to the older boy. Eyebrows _did_ have a point.

The boys finished their dinner and they made their way to a dark deserted alley.

"Okay, what do you want, Naruto?" Shika asked in annoyance.

"Crash Neji's wedding!" He said firmly.

"And how are you planning to do that?"

"I... don'tKnowAndThat'sWhyI'mAskingYou." Naruto said quickly.

"You sure we can't kill them?" Sasuke inquired for confirmation.

"YES." The other boys chorused.

"Oh, but how satisfying it will be…" Kiba relished the idea.

"Shika, we're asking you cuz I know you're real smart with some high IQ thing, so come on, think of something already!" Naruto pestered him.

"I don't even know Neji that well…" Shika mumbled, getting nods of agreement from Kiba and Chouji.

Lee got serious, "But even so, he's my teammate. And I'm not letting my rival get stolen by some annoying girl. I'm in." He said to Naruto.

"Well, he's not our teammate." Chouji reasoned.

Naruto closed his eyes for a while, then opened them and looked up at his friends, the pools of sapphire seeming to glow intensely "Guys. This isn't some small thing. He's getting married. It means he'll be living with someone he doesn't love for the rest of his life, and had no say in it. It means crushing the part of his life where he could be having fun at the age we're in, or doing more missions, or sparring and winning other genins. And it's unfair to him, and to whoever else loves him. And it can really break a person. He's broken enough already and us as his friends are here to glue him back together again. This marriage is just going to tear him apart more." Naruto clenched his fists, "I say we crash it."

The boys stared at him, "Whoa… that was the deepest shit, Naruto." Kiba said, then smiled, "Crash it, eh? Sounds like fun. Count me in!"

"Me too!" Chouji grinned.

Shino gave a thumbs up.

Shikamaru sighed, "Ok, ok… I'm in too. And I've already got the perfect plan to boot the bitch. It's one hell of a plan, so it took a few days to evaluate. But it'll only work if we ALL pitch in and do it right."

"Ha. I knew you were thinking of one from the start! You were just waiting to see if we all were gonna agree to helping Neji!" Naruto grinned. "So we're all in?"

The boys looked at each other and nodded their affirmatives.

Sasuke smirked coolly, "Let's go crash this wedding."

* * *

A/N: Yes, Shika was planning it all the time. The genius' mind had been working away from the very start, and he was just waiting to see if the other were even in on helping Neji out. The strategist he is….

And how did you like that Neji/Sasuke/Naruto sappiness? Aww… they're so funny together!

-sylver


	7. To Crash a Wedding

:stares at reviews: Whoa. I've been gone THAT long, huh? My sincere apologies for the long wait. Exams, exams I say. May they burn. I've been reading back on the past chapters and I am SO annoyed with the horridness of it, the lack of proof-reading, AND the damn formatting thing ffnet decided to implement. WHAT is wrong with the starry thing? Asterisks… I mean.

A/N: I changed a few things in this chapter... after finding a few ffnet-formatting mistakes (they just love sticking words together without your consent) and a few of -cough- my own mistakes such as repeating a word twice and those stupid lack-of-beta-reading things floating around the chapter. And I altered some things, such as the very last line of this fic, a few dialogue thinggys... Yea,stuff like that.

* * *

**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 7: To Crash a Wedding**

Many guests were invited to the grand wedding of the most important clan in Konoha. And grand it was, with the guests dressed in expensive smart suits and beautiful ball gowns, and many white clothed-tables arranged on the ceremony grounds with countless buffet trays and cocktail drinks in sparkling glasses laid upon them. The wedding was held in a large picturesque garden outside an ecclesiastically decorated church, bordered by high white fences lining the boundaries of the garden. Cars drove by the large white gates of the church, dropping guests off and driving to get parked so they could come back later to pick their passengers up. The weather that morning was sunny and slightly breezy – perfect for a wedding.

The melodious music strung out by the orchestra competed with the crowd's incessant chatter, making the atmosphere at the wedding cheerful and joyous – much unlike our dear groom who sat sadly at his bedside in a smart black tuxedo in his own home. A black car was waiting outside his house, with ANBU members waiting to escort him to the church.

He listlessly did his tie – cross and twist twice, push in, pull out, adjust till perfect – remembering his uncle's threats to send people in to dress him if he wasn't going to do it properly himself. But he was told to keep his head set on, so as not to show the cursed seal encrypted across his forehead. He had thought about being defiant and removing his ninja head protector just to annoy his uncle. But he himself wasn't too proud of the damn seal.

Neji slid his hand down the mirror as he stared at the reflection of the abominable mark stretched across his forehead, and quickly put his head set and head protector on, deciding to start the day off the way he always had - pretending it wasn't there. "Fate has gone too far…" He whispered sadly.

-

"GET ME MY GOLDEN EARRINGS! THE GOLD ONES!" Rika whacked a maid on the head, sending the poor girl skittering away.

"They're over there." Mitsuka, who was leaning on the doorpost, pointed at it, a pair of glittering gold earrings on a table, hidden under a few pieces of clothing. The maid ran over to it. Bouka yawned.

"Oh, I'm SO excited!" Rika said in excitement. She did a twirl and almost fell. "This is so great. Neji shall be mine! No, wait, he practically IS already mine! Oh joy!"

She put a tiara atop her head, which had a layer of white cloth of the same material as her dress falling over her face. "Aww… too bad they can't see my beautiful face till the part when Neji kisses me!" She swooned at the thought. "Oh well. I guess the best is always saved for last!"

Rika continued twirling and tumbling around, positively ecstatic. But our dear band of wedding crashers was somewhere, someplace, hatching their malicious little scheme…

-

"Crasher Six to Crasher One, give me your stats. Over."

"I'm… right here… next to you."

"Tell me where! Over."

"NEXT TO YOU."

"JUST SAY IT DAMMIT! …Over."

"Outside Rika's house, you loser. It's so troublesome, Naruto. Stop asking obvious questions."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! You wanna give us ALL away? And you gotta respond with 'Crasher One here', and Rika is 'The Cow'. And remember what our pal in peril is called?"

"Yea yea. 'The Leaf'. Where the hell did you get these stupid names from, anyway?"

"SHIKA- CRASHER ONE! They're NOT stupid! The Cow wants to eat The Leaf which is in The Farm. And can't you see the symbolism? Konoha? Hidden Leaf? Neji, the _leaf_? And besides, she really is a cow…"

"Fine. Fine. Just stop wasting time."

"Crasher Six to Crasher Two, give me your stats."

"I'm- Kiba here. I mean, Crasher Two here. I'm… right next to you and Shika- I mean, Crasher One. Over. Dammit this is hard. Umn... Crasher Six, why did you want to be number Six? I had thought you'd wanna be number One."

"That's cuz I'm gonna be the sixth Hokage! BOW TO ME!"

"Figures."

"And besides, Shika thought of the plan. So he deserves to be number One! See how nice I am? Anyway, Crasher Three, what about you? Over."

"Crasher Three here. :Chomp: I'm next to you too, Crasher Six! Hee hee… this is fun…"

"Stop eating… you're getting crumbs all over me. Over. Crasher Four, what about you?"

"Dobe, Lee got the micro-mics from the ANBU department so it's a closed line we're talking in. We don't need codenames cuz no one's gonna eavesdrop at any time."

"JUST ANSWER!"

"Crasher Four to dobe Crasher One, I am _not_ next to you. Over."

"Fine. Be like that. Crasher Five?"

"…"

"Crasher Five? Where are you? Over."

"…"

"Shino. _You_ are number Five. Over."

"Oh. I forgot. I'm at The Field."

"Say over! Over."

"…Over…"

"Crasher Seven?"

"I'm in The Wind and ready to roll! YOISH! Over!"

"I like your enthusiasm, Crasher Seven! Great. Let's all get it going. Crashers united!"

"Ah…You know what? I wanna back out now."

"SASUKE! I mean, CRASHER FOUR! NO!"

"I. Want. Out. Shikamaru JUST told me about the plans JUST NOW. I thought everything was set YESTERDAY?"

"That's cuz :snigger: I knew you wouldn't agree to it if I told you yesterday…"

"Shut it, Nara."

"NO. NO. NO! Crasher Four, you agreed to this! So you're sticking in it. Over."

"You wouldn't be as passionate about doing it as you are now if you were me, idiot. I WANT OUT."

"True, but I'm not you. So just do it! Over."

"Crasher Five moving in."

"Shino? I mean, Number Five, take care! Over."

"They're out! Umn… Crasher Two here. Crasher…Umn, Crasher… ah…… Chouji! Get ready!"

"Ok :munch: I'm ready!"

"Crasher Four."

"WHAT, dobe?"

"You're up first."

"NO. This is WAY too much. I'm out."

Naruto heard the rustling of Sasuke trying to pull the mic off his collar. "NO! Look, if you can't even put up with something as small as this, there is NO way you're gonna be able to beat your brother. COWARD."

"…" Sasuke breathed out harshly, "I'll kill you later, asshole. You're head is mine."

-

Mitsuka and Bouka stepped out from the Sokake's temporary household and into the front porch.

"Man, what a brat." Bouka said, "I can't believe I'm putting up with this job."

Mitsuka stretched his arms, "Well, it's good money. And… oh!.?" He spotted Sasuke with his back turned toward him, "Now, what could that gorgeous thing be wanting around here?"

-

"Shikamaru… I'm gonna murder you after this whole thing. I will shred you up into thin, long strips and burn every piece…" Sasuke growled fiercely into the mic hidden in his collar. He was stationed at the row of fences on the right side of the Sokake's household, waiting for his portentous nightmare to arrive.

"Sorry man. Plan was to get rid of The Farmers before we attack The Cow. Have fun!" Shikamaru blew a kiss.

The other crashers laughed.

"I will kill you all…"

"SASUKE HONEY!"

'Oh God kill _me_ now.' Sasuke spun his head around at the fence of the Sokake household.

"So how's it going, sugar?" Mitsuka was next to him in a flash and leaned on a hand against the fence Sasuke was standing next to.

"What's it to you?" Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

"It's everything to me, doll."

"Crasher Four! PLAY ALONG!" The hidden earpiece screeched into his ear.

Sasuke felt very much like dying, "Umn… you…"

"Mitsuka!" Naruto reminded him through the earpiece.

"Mitsuka…" Sasuke grudgingly repeated after the blonde.

"You know my name? I didn't think you were paying attention…" The bodyguard moved closer, forcing Sasuke to lean in the opposite direction.

Sasuke listened to the words Naruto sprouted to him from his earpiece and repeated them aloud,"…I feel…bad, for blowing you off on that… movie offer. And…"

Mitsuka was getting excited now. "And? AND?"

"…And I wanna make it… up to you..."

"WELL LET'S GET GOING THEN!" Mitsuka curled his hand around Sasuke's waist and dragged him to the nearest theatre.

Sasuke turned back and glared at the figures behind a bush that were trying their best not to squeal with laughter.

He gritted his teeth, 'No... Do not be suicidal. I MUST survive this. Because after all this... I'm _definitely_ gonna kill them.' His eyes instinctively turned blood red, 'Kill. Them. All.'

* * *

A/N: Myeh… poor Sasuke. Why do I do such tortuous things to him? Because he's my baby that's why… GAH I'm such a sadist. 

-sylver


	8. Gone With the Wind

I updated. I know I haven't in a long time. I just kinda left this document there in my comp to rot and I thought maybe it's about time I just got off my ass and did something about it. I'm on a writer's block for The Prophecy Fulfilled. I ain't too sure what the chars should do next though I have a very vague idea. Like Sasuke has to meet up with Narutoand the rest but I don't knowHOW and when isShino gonna come into the story...About time Istarted _trying _to figure out a way to gel it all together. WHY am I talking about ANOTHER fic? Ok ok.. go read now.

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**Wedding Crashers**

**Chapter 8: Gone With the Wind**

"Crasher Three, your turn!"

"Yes sir, Crasher Six, sir."

Chouji jumped out from the bush and leaned against the fence on the left side of the Sokake residence, as if he had been there all the while, as Bouka made his way down.

"I hear you…" Chouji eyed Bouka haughtily and flung a peanut into his mouth, "…like competition?" He flung another and gave the most pompous look he could muster.

Bouka glared at him. "Yea I do. And?"

"I think I make… _very_ good competition." Chouji poured the remaining of the peanuts into his mouth and chomped on them viciously.

Bouka's glare intensified and a fire could be seen in his eyes, "You're on!"

The two round ninjas dashed off to the nearest buffet restaurant.

"The two Farmers are gone." Naruto reported through the mouthpiece to Shikamaru and Kiba – who were right next to him.

"…I know." Shika murmured, "Ok guys, we go in unseen, we come out unseen. So please be discreet."

Naruto smiled, "We came, we crashed, we left. Crashers, go!"

He, Shika, and Kiba crept silently into the house.

-

Neji stepped out of the car and the guests turned to look at him, and they clapped in congratulations. Neji looked down, not wanting to show his cheerless face, and he stepped up to the gate, where the red carpet that he and his bride were to walk down to reach the podium began. It felt more like a funeral than a wedding to him. _His_ funeral, that is. His pledge of eternity with a rich snobbish brat of a girl seemed more and more like a sentence to death with every step he took. He stood there, and looked around, and saw Shino at the back of the crowd. Shino just looked back at him, then went to the food table to snack.

'Great. A friend to share my unforgettable memories.' Neji thought sarcastically. 'Shino of all people. Why couldn't it be someone else who cares a little about my fate, or at least someone who pretends to care? Shino- wait. How the hell did he get in here anyway?'

Two of his ANBU spies were at the gates preventing any uninvited guests from entering. The other two had escorted him from his house, in the car, and to the ceremony. When Neji was at the red carpet, they had joined the two at the gate. So it was rather strange that Shino had bypassed them and got in. But oh well. Shino and his creepiness could bypass just about anything.

-

"Just WHAT the hell is that movie about?.!"

Mitsuka latched on to Sasuke's shoulders as they stared at the movie poster, "It's one of those romantic R-rated movies. The ones where you cuddle up next to your partner and start-"

"WELL… Like I said before, I _really _don't know how to appreciate films," Sasuke quickly said. "So… why don't we go to… ahh… the mall?"

"I love shopping!"

"Yea I thought so."

"Let's go, dollface."

'D-dollface? Oh, Neji had better be grateful…' Sasuke clenched his fists, thinking about how much to charge Neji as payment for his services once the whole ordeal was over.

-

The decorated white car stopped in front of the gates, and the door was opened by an ANBU member. The guests of the party fixed their eyes upon the door and watched as a beautifully dressed bride with her face covered under a veil stepped out. The party cheered and clapped.

The bride adorned in white gracefully walked down next to her groom, and forcefully linked her arm with his. Neji controlled his temper and counted to ten.

The walk-down music started, and the two began taking slow steps down the red carpet and to the podium. Neji could feel the excitement the girl was in, but he himself hadn't felt this sad since his father died.

-

Tonight would be the night. Sasuke was sure he could pull it off. He had been sharpening his skills and training so much lately so it wouldn't be too hard. Naruto was a sound sleeper so it really shouldn't be a challenge just running a knife across the blonde's throat in the middle of the night while he slept. Sasuke knew it was unfair and unethical. But ever since when was the art of ninja about fair play and ethicality? It was all about utilizing deceit in the darkness and the shadows of night. Of stealth and silence. Of executing swift assassination when the prey least expects it…

"Crasher Four, this is Le- I mean, Crasher 7. The Wind is on its way! Get ready!"

'Crap.' Sasuke snapped out off his thoughts of murder as Lee's voice crackled in the earpiece. He could hear the sound of a vehicle in the background. Hopefully Lee had heard him say he was going to the mall. Sasuke looked at Mitsuka, who was busy examining a very pink shirt, and the Uchiha prodigy turned quietly to leave.

"DOLLFACE!" Mitsuka rushed up to Sasuke, "What do you think of this shirt and pants? I want your opinion, my sweet."

Sasuke felt sick, "Yea, it looks great. Just fabulous. I'm… just going to the toilet. Will be right back."

"I'll come with you!" Mitsuka said, a gleam in his eyes that Sasuke did not feel comfortable with.

"What? No! I mean, no, it's alright… I can go myself…"

"But I _want_ to go." The gleam was getting brighter yet unpleasantly darker at the same time.

"Umn… never mind then. Just hurry up. You gonna buy it or what?"

"I have to try it on first, you know." Mitsuka dragged Sasuke to the change rooms and started pulling him into one of the cubicles.

"I REALLY think I should just wait outside." Sasuke hurriedly said and pulled himself out.

Mitsuka pouted, "Fine, but you gotta hold my clothes."

"Fine." 'Save me God…' Sasuke thought pleadingly. He had gone through too much pain and torture in his life already. His father neglected him, his brother assassinated his entire family, he has a goddamn Sennin out to get his body and now THIS? Why did a twelve year old have to go through all this agony? What did he ever do to deserve such anguish?.?

"Oh dollface you have GOT to see how good this looks on me…" Mitsuka called from the cubicle.

But no. This. THIS was worse. Much worse than anything he had been through before. He had survived everything so far but this time may actually be his last. He may not pull through. Oh the woe of having endured more than any human could handle only for one's life to end like THIS. Sasuke leaned against the doorway with his head hung, wondering if after so many years of self control, he may finally break down and cry again.

"Crasher Four, hello!.? The Wind is, like, waiting for you?" Lee's annoying fake valley girl accent called from his earpiece.

Sasuke snapped his head back up. Lee was already here?

"Oh Dollface!.! I need you to get the Smalls for me. Medium just doesn't cut the figure as much as I wanted it to!" Misuka flung a shirt and pants over the cubicle door to Sasuke.

Wait. Sasuke looked at the circumstances he was in, and he smiled as a brainwave hit him, 'God answers prayers. I am SAVED.' He called out, "Yep, I'll be right back." And then he ran out the shop, chucking the clothes in trolley somewhere outside.

He sprinted out the mall and looked around for Lee, and saw the older boy drive up in a large white convertible six-seater limo.

"The Wind, I presume?" He asked, leaping in.

"Let's fly." Lee smiled and sped off.

"…Can you even drive?" Sasuke asked, trying not to let the slight anxiety be apparent in his voice.

"Nope."

-

Chouji looked down at the unconscious Bouka.

"HA!" Chouji laughed, "No one beats Chouji in stuffing at buffets!" He stood triumphantly above the over-eaten Bouka. "First one to knockout loses, and pal, you just lost."

Lee honked The Wind from outside, "Get in Crasher Three!"

Chouji ran out and jumped in, causing the car to sink a little.

"Whoa… better lose a few pounds there…" Lee said and accelerated.

"Before The Wind stops blowing.." Sasuke couldn't help adding in.

"I'm not fat! Dollface…" Chouji retorted, earning a glare from Sasuke. The Uchiha just KNEW the name was gonna stick for a long long time.

-

"Do you, Hyuuga Neji, take Sokake Rika to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Neji gritted his teeth, silent for a while, then finally went into submission, "I… I do." He said softly. 'I do… sure do want to die…' He started feeling rather nauseous.

"And do you, Sokake Rika, take Hyuuga Neji to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I DO!"

"You may then now, kiss the bride."

The bride turned to the groom, waiting for his hands to come up and lift the veil off her face.

Neji breathed in sadly, and forced his hands to move. Just a touch of the lips on the side of the girl's face, maybe. And nothing more. 'God, just kill me now…' He pleaded as he slowly and reluctantly lifted the veil up.

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A/N: I don't know. I was reading this chapter and I didn't quite like it as much as the others. I know I wrote it a long time ago but I can't seem to change anything about it to make it… better. Ah well. At least the story's progressing, somewhat. oo 


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